NCAA TCAP: Why Don't You Have A Seat...

Now that "To Catch A Predator" is tabled by NBC the folks over at Perverted Justice are really pretty free and open to doing some new things. Given the recent rash of overzealous fan behavior we teamed with the fine PJ folks to do a little "To Catch A Predator" of our own. NCAA TCAP folks.

In light of Chris Hansen's recent scandal, I ran the interviews. Here are the transcripts from a couple.

 

We're in the suburbs outside of Detroit at a house we've rented for the day. A car pulls up. Man decked out in navy and maize walks in. Sets a crowbar on the table.

Hey, there! Why don't you, um, have a seat?

What? What is this?

Just have a seat. Right there is fine at the table. You're, uh, Dominic Colone, right?

Yeah? Why? Who are you?

We'll get to that in a second Dominic. What were you planning on doing here today, what with the crowbar and all?

I was just coming to hang out. Try to make some new friends, you know.

Ah, with a crowbar?

Pry some stuff open. Kids stuff.

I see, kids stuff. You weren't planning on using that crowbar on, I don't know, someone's knee were you?

Huh? No. I'd never. Maybe open some crates, I think they said they had a stuck door maybe?

Right, right. Let me ask you, you know who Joshua Garnett is?

Never heard of him.

Really, never heard of him. Well that's not what this tweet says here.

Who are you?

We'll get to that but first, it says here that Garnett "picked wrong school! Hope you tear ur acl." What do you think about that?

I don't know what you're talking about but I think I'm going to leave.

Just wait a second, you are dcolone on the twitter, correct? This is you right?

Yes?

Well what I have here is a transcript of your tweet to Joshua Garnett where you said he hoped he tore his acl. I see the crowbar, I guess I'm wondering again, what was the plan coming here, today?

OOoooooh! That was a joke. You know two guys just joking. Who are you?

I'm Michael Felder, I'm with In The Bleachers, we're doing a show here on fans who attack high school students. What we're trying to find out is why you would say something like this to a high school kid.

Like I said, it was just jokes. Not a big deal.

Doesn't sound like jokes. In fact you get pretty graphic. Torn ACL. That's a pretty big injury, no?

Yeah it is, but it was jokes.

You wish torn ACLs on a lot of people as a joke or just kids that don't go to your school?

Wha? Um, no.

But you are a, uh (looks at full blue gear), a Michigan fan right?

Yeah, I guess.

If he had gone to Michigan would you be rooting for a torn ACL?

It was just a joke. Look, I'm sorry I said it. I was just mad.

Well look Mr. Colone, I'm gonna let you get on out of here now. Leave the crowbar, but you're free to go.

What's gonna happen?

It's out of my hands. You can go.

Waddling female cop tackles him in the driveway, his glasses fall off as they grab him up. Hangs head in shame as he heads to twitterjail.

This time we're posted up in a rented house in Cary. A truck pulls up. We see a man enter the house, he appears nervous almost frenzied.

Hey! How are you doing today?

What the fu

Whoa now! No need to use the language. Why don't you have a seat?

Who are you? What is this? (fidgets)

You mind if I see your hands? You mind putting them on the table for me?

Who the hell are you and what is this?

We'll get to who I am in a second. Well, look buddy, what made you drive out here today?

I'm supposed to be meeting some friends, we're going to a fight.

Ah, going to a fight. Just so we're clear you are Karsten Green right?

Yeah, so what? (stands up, fidgets more)

Hang on tough guy. Before you take off I've got a few more questions for you.

Who are you, man?

I'm Michael Felder from In The Bleachers, we're doing a show on college football fans who attack recruits. Who is James Summers?

He's some kid that's going to play for football.

I see. You don't like him very much now do you?

I don't know him. Why? What's the difference?

Well, you don't know him? Let me ask you, does this sound familiar, "Fuck you James Summers"

Not really, no.

Let me finish. "You are a pussy for not decommitting from State to go to UNC"

Nope.

I'm not done. "There is a reason State has beat UNC for 5 years."

We have.

That is true. So does James Summers, a high schooler you just said you don't know, become a pussy the moment he doesn't go to State?

I mean, I...I...um

Let's try this, were to go to State would he be an un-pussy?

I would like that.

So basically the only determinant of pussification is if a player goes to the school you like?

NC State is the cleanest, best pleasure, er, program.

I get it, you like State. My question here is, and help me out here, are all the players that don't go to State pussies?

I mean, I like State.

We seem to have hit a bit of an impasse. I do have to ask, is this the way you always talk to high schoolers?

I probably shouldn't have done it. I just wasn't thinking right.

Ah, I see. Well Karsten, we're gonna let you go now.

Exits the house. Sees the sheriffs outside. Holds hands out and slowly gets on his knees. Stares at camera menacingly, gives a "Fuck UNC" for good measure before being carted off to twitterjail.

Enjoy signing day today folks. Yes, it is a big deal but don't make it about what happens to you. Instead let it be about the kids who are doing the picking. If your school is selected, great. If not, don't pitch a fit. Be an adult and keep it moving. There's so much more to life than getting butthurt over someone you don't know making the decision they feel is the best for them.