NCAA BRACKET MADNESS

Written by Michael Felder on .

March Madness is here folks and you know what that means...SPRING BALL ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. I know right, get excited as your football team gets out there and starts hitting each other, fine tuning, installing packages and preparing for the 2012 season. We've also got daylight savings time, spring forward, on our plate and that means yours truly just watched the sunrise in North Carolina and there isn't much better than that folks.

St. Patrick's Day is on the horizon for us this Saturday so be sure to hit Guinness up and register WHILE LEAVING THE CODE "BLEA" IN THE BOX for the big party. So this weekend obviously has a built in party coming right up.

Oh and yeah, that basketball thing that people seem to love so much. The NCAA tournament field was revealed yesterday and there were some big decisions made (I guess), some surprising seeds (I think) and plenty of controversy over who got the easy draw (sounds right). To be fair, I was watching House Hunters where this couple was picking a house somewhere out west and the lady was complaining about dark cabinets and the idiot husband was whining about ceiling fans like ceilings fans aren't even easier to change than painting a wall.

But I digress, the ITB Pick'Em Pool is up at Fun Office Pools and obviously we'd love for all of you folks to register and play. It is free. It is easy. I'll find something to send to you at some point probably. Also you will be competing against me and I expect all of you to just really crush me in this thing. So really this pick'em pool is a bone that I'm throwing to all of the people who harassed me about watching basketball this season; prove your worth!
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2012_Bracket
That's right folks, click here to hugify my entire bracket for you to look at, let it weigh on your mind. After the jump I will explain the picks and basically blow your mind with how brilliant I am without even watching one minute of the sport.

We'll go region by region so let's start with UNC's because obviously that's what you folks are here for, right? No? Well, I'm starting there anyways. 
Midwest
That's your Midwest region right there people. In the first round obviously 16 seeds suck so they lose. Alabama over Creighton thanks to the power of Nick Saban. I had a friend who went to Temple, we played rec league basketball together. Antwan Robinson was his name and so Temple wins that one. Michigan already beat Ohio once this year thanks to Brady Hoke, they make it twice. NC State loses, not because I don't want them to win but mostly because you can't really trust Tom O'Brien against the Aztecs. Georgetown wins because I know where that school is; Belmont reminds me of Belmont, NC and no one from there wins anything. Purdue, more like Pur-don't. Kansas wins but only because schools named after cities really are weak to me.

UNC over the Tide, largely on the strength of the return of Henson Barnes. Antwan Robinson and Temple keep it rolling against Glen Rice. Georgetown wins because Ronnie Hilman is overrated. Kansas vs a school I have never heard of so I pick school I have heard of.

North Carolina over Temple. Georgetown has an inherent toughness about them. Kansas doesn't. I'm guessing. Anyone that hires Charlies Weis probably isn't my sort of people so Georgetown wins. Heels over Georgetown. Although to be honest I  think UNC will lose to Georgetown, I've realized how much easier my life is if I just pick UNC to win so that all the Heels fans I know will just leave me alone. 

Next up the West bracket:
West
This is where Tom Izzo reminds me of a football coach and thus is inherently better than basketball coaches in every way. Memphis wins but mostly because both schools are named after cities and Memphis has better barbecue than that drippy St. Louis stuff. I used to live in New Mexico when I was a kid. I'm assuming NM is that so they will win and you just learned something new today. Louisville over Davidson because Davidson doesn't have Steph Curry anymore. Murray State is in Kansas. Marquette over one of two slapdicks based upon the fact that I like Tom Crean and Dwayne Wade. Virginia over Florida. Mizzou gets a W because that's just the right thing to do.

Michigan State beats up Memphis. Louisville takes down my brother's native land. Yes, He's a New Mexican. Murray State keeps going, I like the way they play the tempo game. I hate UVA but I think they beat Mizzou, mostly because I can't ever remember a time when I thought much of either of these teams.

Wahoos keep it rolling into the game against Michigan State who beats Louisville. But then Izzo mans up and just punks whoever coaches Virginia, Pete Gillen maybe, and then goes to another final four.

In the East we have Syracuse at the top, ya dig?
East
So 1 beats 16, we've all heard that story before. Michael Beasley isn't at Kansas State anymore so I'll go with Southern Miss, mostly because they're more southern than Kansas State and that counts to me. Vanderbilt over Harvard because while they're not as smart that step down in intelligence makes a big step up in athleticism. Wisconsin and Bo Ryan are awesome, they will beat Montana. Cincinnati over Texas, because we know the Bearcats are scrappy. Florida State over the Bonnies but not by much. Gonzaga sucks and I'd pick these losers to lose except I don't know who WVA is. Is that West Virginia? If it is I will change my pick but WVA isn't WVU so I got confused. Ohio State over which ever Loyola that is.

Syracuse win, there are a lot of Syracuse fans out there so I'll just pick them until it is okay to pick them to lose because they will definitely lose. Wisconsin bullies Vanderbilt, I'd like to pick Vandy because their head coach is the dad of my favorite Diamond Heel, Jacob Crazy Legs Stallings. His legs are legitimately crazy, like a baby giraffe on the basepath. Florida State wins, mostly for the same reason as Syracuse, their fans will whine a lot if you don't pick them. Ohio State is actually pretty good so I'm going to ride those fools into the Elite Eight for a Big Ten show down.

Wisconsin over Syracuse, Ohio State over Florida State for an all B-1-G Party. Hello midwest, stand up ya heard! Ohio State wins because, while I don't know what happened in their previous meetings, I do know that Thad Matta is next door neighbors with the family of this girl who I hang out with here in Charlotte and that's pretty solid information. Ohio State to the final four.

Now for the South and Kentucky sets the pace.

South

The first game is a given people so I don't get why I have to write that. UConn over Iowa State, mostly because I think that Iowa State really shot their wad against Oklahoma State this year. Wichita St is the Shockers so that's easy. Indiana vs New Mexico State. NMSU is where my dad got his first master's degree, Las Cruces ya heard. But they were never any good at sports so Indiana wins. UNLV. Baylor, they'll probably lose but I'll pick them to win in the first round. Notre Dame over Xavier, unless there's a fight, because I don't think Notre Dame can fight really at all. Duke wins over LeHigh because of the Plumlees.

Kentucky is just better than everyone so after they mash out UConn and Indiana beats Wichita State the Hoosiers get mashed out by Kentucky and people can bitch and whine about how Indiana is rebuilding the right way and Kentucky is not. Except Indiana will be doing their bitching from the plane home and not from a continued stay in the tournament so I guess Indiana is doing it wrong. UNLV over Baylor, I just watched The Hangover on TBS yesterday so I'll ride with Vegas for as long as I can. Duke over Notre Dame then Duke loses to UNLV. I figure UNLV has good athletes, that's just a guess based largely upon the early 90's UNLV teams and the fact that DeMarco Murray is from Vegas and he was a hell of an athlete for the Sooners.

Kentucky over UNLV. Easy peasy.

Now we're on to the final four folks:

FinalFour

Yeah y'all. That's the final four. Michigan State has a great run but Kentucky has a lot of NBA guys and that makes them win. UNC vs Ohio State, I'll go with Thad Matta. He is neighbors with my friend's family in Ohio. That's a pretty big deal. Roy Williams also whines too much for me so I don't really like picking him to do anything. Although, I should probably pick him to win so that there wouldn't be any whining from him about whatever it is he likes to whine about. 

Anyways John Calipari gets his title. Been a long time coming for the coach and I'll be happy he snags one. Yeah, I said it.

That's my whole bracket. You'll notice I only named one player, Henson Barnes, that is because I don't know anyone for any other team. I've cobbled these picks together with football insight and random guessing. If you lose to me that is largely an idictment on you. Also I shall be praised when I win this thing. Guns up. Let's do this.