Friday, It's So Fetch! Vol. 32

The last Friday of the year folks and that makes it extra fetch! New Years Eve is just a day away and that means champagne, party hats confetti, make out sessions and all that jazz. Before we get into the score-gy from last night that was Baylor defeating the Washington Huskies we've got a podcast and a rather interesting engagement to discuss.

Yesterday we had Russ Mitchell on the podcast talking all bowls SEC and one of our favorite guest was up to his usual ways as he discussed Taylor Martinez. Not only was he unimpressed with the Nebraska sophomore but Mitchell went so far as to say the quarterback throws "worse than a girl." If you love "The Sandlot" like I do then you know that them's fighting words and we have Erin Sorensen on the show to talk women's throwing abilities as well as T-Magic. Erin writes for Husker Locker as well as contributes to the Unsportsmanlike Conduct show on 1620 The Zone in Omaha, also she is a girl so Russ did his best to offend on all levels.



If you can't grab the show through the widget be sure to click here to get the download. Now, on to the fetch as we close out the year with one of my personal favorite diddies.



Yes we'll discuss Baylor and Washington because that game was absolutely insane to watch but first we've got one of my sports favorites in the news, I guess he loved it so he put a ring on it.

Michael Jordan is engaged yo!

That's right the greatest basketball player of all time has decided to marry his model girlfriend Yvette Prieto. Feel free to discuss this amongst yourselves the only legitimate comment to be made by me is that I doubt he goes all no prenup on this one given how his last marriage ended and the whole Kobe Bryant thing we will be witnessing now.

Personally, if I ever trick some woman into marrying me I will get a prenup too, it will protect things that are dear to me. Like my slingshot, the half drank fifth of bourbon I have and my IBM thinkpad. Without those things I could not run this empire.

Now to get serious we've got the Baylor Bears who put up 67 points on the Washington Huskies in the Alamo Bowl last night. Fantastic stuff out of Art Briles offense right? Just a beat down. Yeah it would be except they won by 11, giving up 56 points to the Washington Huskies.

Heisman winner Robert Griffin III put up some 350 total yards of offense and two touchdowns. Stellar performance for the Heisman winner and a great win for the Bears program who had not won a bowl game since 1992. The kid is likely headed to the NFL when the deadline hits and he's shown some tangible skills that make him a legit prospect for a team to believe they can attach their future to.

Scariest thing about Griffin's performance isn't his numbers, it is that Washington's Keith Price had better numbers. Price put up 477 total yards and accounted for seven total touchdowns. SEVEN. This is a kid who is doing what folks expected Jake Locker to do for the Huskies. It certainly appears that Steven Sarkisian has found "his guy" with respect to a player capable of navigating the waters for him at the quarterback position. Price has had a great season and will enter the 2012 campaign with high hopes, despite the departure of stand out running back Chris Polk.

Terrance Ganaway the Baylor running back that has been getting it done all year also showed the nation what he is all about going for 200 yards and five touchdowns to be the real player of the night for Baylor. FIVE TOUCHDOWNS folks. That is a man's effort.

And effort. It is a beautiful thing when you get to see it. It can also be quite ugly when you don't see it. That's what we had last night, two teams that were totally incapable on the defensive side of the football. Incomplete passes were just bad throws, not actual break ups. Punts were accidents. Missed field goals were simply "why didn't go for the TD" plays.

If you're Art Briles or Steve Sarkisian, two guys who put offense above all else, surely now is the point where you try to figure out what the hell has been going on down on the defensive practice field. Phil Bennett went from producing solid defenses at Pitt with Dave Wannstedt to being amongst the nation's worst. Nick Holt, a guy that actually has some decent pieces, just watched his guys get shredded on a damn near weekly basis. 

There really are only two answers here if you're Holt or Bennett; you suck at your job and/or you're being totally handcuffed thanks to the recruiting strategies of your program. Hard to believe that Bennett, a guy that's built some solid defensive units through out his career, somehow "lost" the "it" you need from an X's and O's standpoint. Nick Holt is a bit less of a sure thing but he does have a track record of putting pieces in position to succeed.

Out of this game it seems both guys are hamstrung by the lack of talent that exists on one side of the ball. Nick Holt got some great play out of his defensive line in the passing game, sacking RG3 several times but he also got some garbage out of that unit as evidenced by their inability to stop the run game of the Bears. Phil Bennett had guys that were sort of, kind of around the ball but couldn't tackle, didn't take good steps and just overall weren't capable. 

The worst at times was the body language on both sides where guys just seemed to be looking at the clock thinking, "damn, it's only the third quarter?" 

Call me a defensive snob. Call me a defensive minded curmedgeon. Call me a defense focused contrarian or a party pooper. That shit wasn't "fun" to me. It was funny but only because we're laughing at the ineptitude of those poor guys out there haplessly running around, not because it is some awesome football showcase.

In the end it was totally embarrassing. I feel bad for those guys, getting sent out there, unprepared and totally helpless against their offensive counterparts. If both men remain at their posts they need help, asap. Get these guys some players they can succeed with.